There’s a silver lining when I see that doughy slob Seth Rogen burying his rage-filled psychoses long enough to feign humor…
I know that no matter how much the left’s chattel dry heave over his only-gross “comedy,” his personal life will have always been mired by the ugly reality that every single woman who’s ever known him intimately has found him repulsive.
He’s one of those guys you just know it’s true about.
There hasn’t been a single relationship he’s had that was predicated in any way on a woman actually being attracted to him. And I’m not just talking about looks. Guys like Seth are the worst and grossest dudes that most dudes know, and they never stop being disgusting. They always smell and their farts linger, no lie, for days. Their attempts at helping out just a little bit persistently only make things worse. Whether that’s a defense mechanism aligning with an aversion to work or just rank incompetence will forever be up for debate, because these types of dudes are also terrible at answering serious or otherwise meaningful questions.
I largely stopped paying attention to Seth Rogen because there have been a few things over the years that were just way too over the top. I know my limits with lefties and I forget if he tried to get hard with someone or what, but I remember thinking the only time I ever see this guy from here on out — I’m going to want to do things that good Republican civil rights activists, like myself, absolutely don’t engage in.
It’s one of those, “If you can’t look at someone without wanting to compromise your values, don’t look at all” type of insurance policies.
Well today I wasn’t so lucky because I caught a clip of Seth entertaining his fat friends and laughing about their flouting the covid restrictions they shame everyone else for.
So okay. There they all are, laughing it up as they do what the rest of us are shamed, and taught to shame each other, for. And they get to laugh about it.
And mind you this clip comes on the heels of learning that the San Francisco Mayor said she was out partying and dancing maskless because she doesn’t need “the fun police” stopping her and “the spirit” just moved her. We really are watching the elites just do whatever they want, when they want, while shaming everyone else for wanting to live freely in this allegedly free nation.
Back to Rogen, as I watched the clip I realized there was still something honest and fair I could share about him that wouldn’t compromise my values. It would be mean. But it would do the trick since I got stuck seeing his face again today.
I’ll just tell the ugly truth about him.
I mean, at this point, why wouldn’t I? Just to be nice? His entire career is now predicated on making the people I care about, who lack the hatred and ferocity to fight back, feel bad about themselves and everything they care about.
So yeah, I’m happy to take a few minutes today and tell the very likely truth about this guy.
Because I’ve always known, even before I didn’t like him, that he was the uniquely gross and selfish dude I’d met several times along the way in real life. They’re not unlikable. Guys can definitely buddy up with them and some girls, in small doses, aren’t entirely revolted just by being close to the Rogen types.
But of course this is when he’d say, “What? Because I’m Jewish!?”
No, Seth, that’s not what I’m talking about. You could become a Catholic Priest, quit that to celebrate Islam for a few years, go volunteer at a Methodist church for a while, write convincingly and separately in support of both atheism and agnosticism, learn to cast a few spells from some of the teenage Wiccans you likely already chat up, and 50 years after all that theo-diversity you’d still be too gross, inside and out, for any woman to actually want.
It’s a you problem, Seth.
Don’t try to turn this around on the beautiful Jewish people, or their beautiful religion.
You’ve always had an excuse for it because when it’s rank rejection based on nothing other than a brief sight, smell or sound, you need to find reasons that explain it away without it hurting so badly. But you’re disgusting through and through, in every way, and you know it, and while you can carve out some friendly enough distant relationships, anyone who gets close to you knows you’re someone they don’t want to be close to for very long.
I had to look up his relationship status for this piece. Turns out he’s married. Early in my searches the media had cast his wife to be a starlet of some kind; famous, like Seth.
Turns out she got her start in Seth Rogen movies.
It also turns out, she doesn’t want to procreate with him.
As Seth told Howard Stern in May:
“I would say she wants kids less than I do,” Rogen said. “I could probably be talked into it, she’s like: ‘no’.”
It also turns out the closest thing to a “cute story” they have is him botching the proposal and putting the ring on her nipple because he thought it would be funny. You can read that pathetic story here, along with several other pathetic stories that the media try to make sound “fun” but anyone reading honestly can see through: this gross guy landed this girl because he has money, and now he gets to tell everyone about how much fun they have eating bacon fat-injected wings dipped in cheese sauce while watching porn together.
Or whatever “So cute!” story they’ll tell next on Seth’s behalf and to his wife’s now-ubiquitous humiliation.
Lauren Miller wanted to be an actress until Seth Rogen made her a better offer. Seth, if we’re all just being brutally honest, probably sounded like this:
I’ll pay you as well as an actress at your level gets paid, and all you have to do is hang out and let me sleep with you sometimes. We’ll have fun along the way, too. I’m a funny guy. And I’m a real person. I have real thoughts and feelings. You’ll get those when it matters to me. And I’ll try to give you that when it matters to you. But no promises. I mean, I’m Seth Rogen.
That’s it. Of course we don’t know what the actual words were, but that was the agreement that both Seth and Lauren entered into.
And who knows what the later conversation about kids was but I’ll tell you something else about a Seth Rogen: by the time that dude does become a dad, he’d probably be one of the best in the country.
Because the guy I’m talking about, the one I know Seth to be just based on observing people over the years, has led a tough life beset with persistent, underlying rejection, and he has a lot to teach someone who has only him to rely on for guidance. He has a lot to teach about love, acceptance, forgiveness, adversity, and more. So that’s when guys like Seth become real men for the first time. And it fits them well and gives them something far more valuable to focus on, and, for the first time in their lives, something that loves them back better than anyone else ever had other than dogs and parents.
Seth could have easily been talked into kids. He was probably hoping someone would. And I can’t imagine what it was like when his wife dropped the hammer that it would never be in the cards for them. But I know the reason she did it. And I bet in that moment, even though she couldn’t say it, Seth knew the reason too.
It’s because Seth Rogen is exactly who I always guessed he is, and the girl he married was one he picked out of his movies who was desperate and selfish enough to accept his lazy offer. But there’s zero chance she’s going to procreate with him if she has any say at all in it.
Did he have a stretch where he ran around and partied with strippers, porn stars, whoever else? Probably. Can he still find that kind of trouble/”fun”? I’m sure he can. Money buys a lot of things.
The point of this post isn’t that he can’t buy cheap fun and intimacy. He can.
The point of this post is that for as awful as he is for our nation, for our progress, and for our unity, you can take some solace in the fact that he has never once had an intimate, lasting relationship with any woman who didn’t find him revolting and was only there for some ulterior reason.
That’s his life. And while the same is true for a lot of powerful people (they often, eventually, buy their spouses), most of those people, over the years, also got to have at least a few relationships where the most important investment from either side was attraction.
That’s not the case for Seth.
And it never once in his life has been.
He can be every bit the racist, fascist, science-denying dirtbag he wants to be. His favorite thing in the world can be punching down on the aptly-named conservative right, who — yes — can get figuratively knocked out by the first sound of an angry F bomb. But those salt-of-the-earth conservatives have been shit on for long enough by these Racist Democrat assholes and their increasingly fascist friends in corporate America. And there’s a wall being built around them with people who are willing to fight, lining up to stand guard.
Me saying the quiet part out loud about Seth Rogen, the truth that every person who’s met a “Seth” knows and every woman who hasn’t can sense a mile away, is just one small part of that defense.
You’re gross, Seth. You’ve always known it. You’ve probably been honest about it for some of your comedy. Good for you. If you can laugh about it more than you cry about it, that’s a good thing. And if you weren’t such a threat to our nation’s progress and unity, I’d obviously never call this out and would instead quietly commend you for how you’ve carried on.
But you are a dirtbag and threat to our nation’s progress and unity. You are a Racist Democrat who increasingly thinks fascism would be “kinda cool” for a minute. You’re a gross sack of shit and every woman who’s ever had the chance to get to know you well, knows that about you. Your entire career today is built on attacking people socially and politically. The side you’re fighting for has always derived every shred of power they get from racial disunity and disparity of their own making. America is every bit the great nation many of us were raised to believe, and whatever utopia you envision would pale in comparison to what we’ve already built: a nation where individuals can empower themselves, based on their own hopes and dreams stemming from their own experiences, despite a still-necessary government that would exist to protect those rights. The minute we delve into your “The government gives everything so we can be free to create” utopia, nobody wants to create anymore. There’s no more of the drive that gets each and every American out of bed in the morning, free to chart the course however they see fit so today is better than yesterday. And it’s that collective drive that empowered our nation with so much peace and prosperity. You’re in bed right now with big business, big tech, the fucking intelligence community — Seth you’re in bed with the FBI and CIA at a time when their most prominent features are lying and failing — you’re in bed with the most fascist, intolerant, shameless and irresponsible wings of academia that have ever existed, you’re in bed with the entire corporate legacy news media, and Seth…you’re in bed with China. They’re slave owners who are also committing genocide, and you’re in bed with them. You’re in bed with the book burners. You’re in bed with the mandatory vaccinations and masks on 3-year-olds crowd, all over a virus that had a 99.7% survival rate before the vaccines.
These are your people and because your life has been plagued with so much humiliating rejection and isolation from meaningfully reciprocal intimacy, you’re one of their fiercest and most offensive defenders.
That makes you more repulsive than anything else, and it’s why I don’t mind telling the cold, hard, sad truth about literally every woman alive being entirely incapable of wanting you unless you’re giving them something in return.
The only thing worse than living that life is reading about it on some rando’s website and realizing it’s been obvious to a lot of people for a long time.
Isn’t it fun to be mean and make people feel bad, Seth?
Have a great day!
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