America’s Best Defense Against BlueAnon Covidiots: A National 4 MPH Speed Limit

Why do you hate all of mankind, and all of earth’s creatures, in perpetuity, and want them all to die?

Oh, you’re denying this fact?

Then why not support a 4 mile per hour speed limit everywhere, at all times?

Do you have any idea how many deaths you’re responsible for?

Do you have any idea how many innocent lives are slaughtered every day in traffic accidents?

This pandemic of vehicular death can be prevented if you selfish monsters would stop putting yourselves and your precious “freedom” before our nation and the innocent lives you’re callously murdering.


If that dialogue sounds both utterly insane and also very much like the one we’re having right now about masks and lockdowns, you’re right on both counts.

The major difference is that a 4 mile per hour speed limit would actually mitigate vehicular deaths, while masks and lockdowns only create more unnecessary death and destruction.

But that’s exactly what the legacy news media, academia, Democrats and other America-hating fascists and racists want.

They hate our country and its people. They want more power. They love seeing us in pain. They have a very small army of grassroots supporters whom the media pretend represent mainstream America (they don’t). And when you put all that together, you get a badly misinformed national conversation dictated by racists and fascists who hold up idiots as evidence that the story they’re telling us is true and accurate.

It’s not, obviously.

It’s ridiculous, it’s a lie, and it’s all designed to hurt America and its people so the fascist, scared, sad, modern American left can use our fear and subservience to their benefit.

They’re trying to bully everyone into getting vaccinated to protect a tiny population of hypochondriacs and anti-vaxxers who refuse to.

How on God’s green earth did we go from “15 days to slow the spread” to “Inject this concoction into your veins to protect a small population of people who refuse to for reasons we don’t care about because you’re the one doing whatever we tell you to.”

That’s an absolutely insane leap and infringement on our freedoms, and it’s one I’m definitely not okay with.

I got vaccinated because it makes sense to me personally: I’m no more afraid of the vaccines than I am of COVID-19, and I wanted to be counted among the numbers pushing us toward their fantastically-unreasonable definition of herd immunity. But I’m regretting it now because not getting vaccinated is starting to feel like an important act of civil disobedience.

Other than civil disobedience (which always has and will remain an important GOP tool in combating the Racist Democrat Party), how do we fight back when they hijack the language and debate in such a way that makes anyone who dissents a murderer?

We beat them at their own game.

The only thing we should be talking about until every BlueAnon Covidiot conspiracy theorist is marginalized to the fringes where they belong, is the importance of a national, 4 mile per hour speed limit.

We should, with the help of the RNC and conservative media, create a massive and dead-serious campaign to enact four mile per hour speed limits everywhere. We should flood the zone with stats and data around vehicular accidents and death, and accuse anyone who doesn’t conform of hating life and loving murder. We can and should make this the only thing we talk about and we should shame anyone who pretends not to see the value in it. The point — the moral of the story — will be clear the entire time:

There will always be risks in life. It’s important we weigh honestly the cost of those risks versus the benefit we get by taking extreme steps to avoid them.

I got the idea from that excellent “People Will Die!” video:

I just honestly don’t know what other weapon we use to defeat the plague of BlueAnon Covidiocy-21 that’s being used to hold us all hostage and create as much division and destruction as possible.

They’ve manipulated the language and hijacked the conversation in such an intellectually dishonest, anti-science and health-averse way that I don’t know how to defeat them except with mockery. That’s how lowbrow and pathetic they’ve become. Reason, common sense, rational thought — none of these things matter to them.

They’re only concerned with creating fear, controlling you, and managing how they look.

It’s that last one — their Achilles heel; their focus on identity — that we can corrupt.

And we can corrupt it with mockery.

So this is my first effort to create a national campaign for 4 mile per hour speed limits. This, not COVID-19, needs to dominate the headlines and news. Anyone who’s worried about COVID-19, for which there’s a vaccine now available to anyone who wants it, is wasting their time because right now people are dying in car accidents that we can prevent if we’re willing to put our own selfish interests aside, and put our country first.

It’s the easiest message in the world for all of us to 1) memorize and use to stay on script, 2) shoot down their pathetically dishonest scorn for any who don’t still fear COVID-19, and 3) highlight how stupid, destructive and dangerous their lazy response has been this entire time.

THEM: Where’s your mask?!

YOU: I need your email address so I can sign you up to help push for four mile per hour speed limits everywhere in America, always. Vehicular deaths are at a staggering high and if we all pull together, we can help slow the spread and flatten the curve.

THEM: But where’s your mask!?


THEM: I don’t like traffic accidents, but where’s your mask?

YOU: Vaccines are now widely available to anyone who wants one. Who’s coming to save the people who will die from cars going faster than 4 miles per hour? Nobody. Now are you going to stand up and have the courage to fight for something that truly matters and will actually require a sacrifice on your part, or just stand around here lecturing people about masks when nobody cares about that anymore and everyone is talking about these entirely avoidable traffic deaths?!

It’s just so simple and stupid, but it’s what they deserve at this point and I’d love to get some help making it a reality.

Let’s just start a massive campaign for 4 MPH speed limits. Arm all of our best people with all the stats and send them out there firmly on the moral highground to win the same lowbrow debate we’re being forced to have.

If we want to defeat the BlueAnon Covidiocy-21 virus, our best path might very well be a slow, easy, and frankly enjoyable Sunday drive toward 4 MPH speed limits. That’s how we shame them, expose them, and defeat them all while having some fun and without breaking a sweat.

Mock them mercilessly and unreasonably into obscurity.

Such is the debate they’ve invited, and such should be the debate we give them.

Make sure to check out WhatFinger News for all the best right-minded media content from around the web.

One comment

  1. While I do support your attempt to fight back against The Enemy, I feel you may not have clearly defined the enemy. For starters, denigrating “anti-vaxxers” and blaming them for your perceived need to get injected with an unproven experimental gene manipulator masquerading as a vaccine is just not how you make friends with individualists.

    Also, your idea of ridicule can be expanded in the same manner as the Bolsheviks do to us. Refer to their holy cows in derisory terms, but always! Never use the V-word, without a clarifying preface, such as “those unproven experimental gene manipulators masquerading as vaccines.” Or “the alleged pandemic” or “plandemic-schmemic” if you can’t think quickly. If they accuse you of childishness, tell them you’re trying to communicate with people who believe politicians and vaccine makers over actual doctors and researchers. Make fun of germophobes in the supermarket checkout line. Why stop at one ridiculous comparison?

    As for “Arm all of our best people with all the stats and send them out there firmly on the moral highground…” I must ask: Where you get your stats from (the Enemy controls them), where are you going to send them to, when the Enemy owns all the channels of communication, and what do you say, we fight this with science, facts and, yes, ridicule, because morality is culturally subjective, and probably little more than personal baggage. Besides, how do you have a moral showdown with the very people constantly re-inventing the “Western World’s” morality as they find profitable? Rethink your plan, but this time, you have no platform, nothing you, or those exactly like you, did not create yourself. Let us know.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s