It’s not even 10AM Monday but already the media have flooded the zone with hysterical pearl clutching over revelations about <checks notes> a decades-old estate dispute that involved President Trump and one of his nieces, Mary.
Apparently the “really big” news baked into this nothingburger is that Mary was the source for another nothingburger that came out nearly two years ago.
But since it didn’t go anywhere at the time and they’re out of any better ideas, the media are today feigning fresh shock and awe and desperately hoping anyone outside of their long-discredited resistance bubble will this time join them in their pathetic meltdown.
Spoiler alert: no one will.
But you can already hear all the same lines being used…
The walls are closing in.
I know we’ve said it before, but this feels different.
This, sources are telling us, truly may be the beginning of the end for President Trump.
Some of the laziest and most pathetic players all across the anti-Trump media are hard at work…
Be still my heart, Josh. Not the details she already leaked!
Damn those racist Kavanaugh hearings amirite, Asha!? I knew they were up to no good. Evil geniuses planned the whole thing!
Oh dear God no. Not a book. Anything but a book! How will Trump ever survive if someone who hates him writes a book about that hatred and the media spend 1-2 days on at least 2-3 separate occasions trying to help market the book by pretending to drool over its leaks during the 4-5 months leading up to its release and then 3-4 days slathering themselves in confirmation bias that only they care about with respect to its importance once it’s actually released before quickly turning the page back to Russia-COVID-Racism-Experts-Polls-Letters-Norms-Gate?
Yes, YES! This time we’ve got them! Trump and his minions — those pesky America-loving rubes — don’t stand a chance!
Expect just about every day until the election to be just like this one. The media working extra hard to hype any story they can into becoming “the worst thing ever” or “the biggest scandal in our country’s history” or “Trump’s 1,648th ‘Watergate’ or ‘Katrina.'”
Because that’s how the utterly pathetic, forever socially distant media roll: they don’t have the slightest clue that while they can still control what we talk about, they’ve lost every shred of ability to control what we think about those stories. And if they weren’t such pathetic little twits who earned our hatred, it would be pretty tough to watch at times like these when virtually all of us are sharing the same thought: “My God the media are embarrassing themselves yet again, and they look ridiculous again, and they’re the only ones who don’t know it.”
Imagine Elaine from Seinfeld going to a high school reunion where her terrible dancing was actually considered cool, and the whole dance floor is packed with that same freakish, full body gyrating.
You just imagined the media literally every time they manufacture a “bombshell” that they’re convinced people will buy because they’re the ones selling it.
In normal times hard to watch and really embarrassing for them. But today it’s just hilarious and every bit the spectacle they prayed it would be, but for exactly none of the reasons they hoped.
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