The Evolution Of Kristen Soltis Anderson’s Smile

If you watch cable news, you’ve no doubt seen Kristen Soltis Anderson giddily sharing her swamp-entrenched insights. Kristen is a pollster, which is one of the most swamp-dependent of all the useless grifter professions that have turned our political landscape in to something that exists to support itself at the expense of a largely neutered electorate.

And since Kristen forgoes intellectual honesty in favor of anti-Trump antagonism (just like all the other “experts” the media lean on since Trump’s inauguration), this post will return the favor and head down that same mean-spirited path with her.

I’m inclined to note: I feel my sisters coming through me on this one. I have three older sisters, two of whom were just ferociously mean about literally everyone when we were growing up. No one was off limits. Everyone had something wrong with them. And my sisters would go back and forth just railing mercilessly on the tiniest perceived deficiencies. One of those sisters grew up to be a gun-loving, Bible-thumping Trump supporter who regrets her history of mean-girl mockery. As the younger brother who would try and fail to keep up, I remember vividly years worth of the barbs they’d level at unwitting bystanders. And when now, as adults, I look back and laugh at some of those times from our childhood, the Trump-supporting sister retreats in to a place of legitimate and sincere remorse — hoping to atone for what she sees now as uselessly mean energy, and wanting to set a better example for her own kids. The other sister, who was a few years older and in that way the ring leader, went on to become a vegan, socialist, atheist member of the pussy-hat resistance. And she hasn’t changed at all. In fact she’s only gotten more cutting and intentionally hurtful in her Bill Maher and Jon Stewart inspired mockery and attacks. (Most people don’t know this because I never revealed it to anyone outside of my personal friends and family, but this “Letter To The Left” that I wrote in 2017 and has been one of my most viewed pieces, actually started as a copy/paste job from an email to that sister.)

My point is, I guess: I can’t even go down this mean-spirited path without qualifying that I’m well aware I’m doing it, and not entirely happy about it. But as noted in my About Me

I became aware at a very young age of the left’s capacity for artful, hurtful and ultimately misguided attacks — and well-armed to defend against them. In the beginning I hated bullies more than I loved politics, but eventually began to see the symbiosis that often exists between them.

Kristen Soltis Anderson is just one of literally hundreds of media personalities who choose anti-Republican antagonism and mockery, instead of any semblance of intellectual honesty or fairness. So this entirely substance-free mockery of her is just a drop in the bucket in terms of responding to all the lazy, mean-spirited, intellectually dishonest trash I’ve seen from her over the years.

Behold, the evolution of Kriten Soltis Anderson’s smile…

In the beginning, Kristen showed up with a nice, normal smile that anyone would be proud of.


Soon however, it began to change. Something a bit less natural started to emerge.


“A bit less natural” eventually gave way to uniquely synthetic.

kristen-soltis-anderson (1)

And by the time the evolution was complete — the once nice, normal smile had become a buck-toothed atrocity that she obviously at some point decided was a more cutesy option than the authentic smile she was born with.


“Well maybe something happened and she didn’t change her smile, but it changed on its own due to something out of her control,” you might argue.

Not so. Here’s a behind-the-scenes photo taken just a few weeks ago wherein Anderson, likely caught off guard due to the absence of the studio lights and set, revealed that there’s nothing wrong with her nice, natural, normal smile.

Nevertheless, she persisted.


Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s lies.

I know what you’re going to say…

“But she’s actually a Republican pollster and a self-described conservative who, in the wake of the controversial White House Correspondents’ Dinner, seemed to agree that mocking a woman’s appearance is unacceptable.”

First of all, mocking a woman’s person’s appearance, while gratuitous and unhelpful, is in no way unacceptable. At their wits end, almost anyone will resort to personal attacks including mocking someone’s looks. And when it comes to the go-along-to-get-along anti-Trump media, who take turns squeeing in delight as they laugh live on camera at President Trump and the rubes who support him, I’m at my wits end with Kristen and her ilk.

Second, I’ve never once heard Anderson mount anything even close to an original, substantive defense of conservatism. And I’d guess the only reason she identifies as a conservative is because it plays well among the Republican clients she grifts with her clearly useless polling business.

I’m tired of swamp monsters and swamp dependents. I’m an admittedly right-minded partisan who can’t even watch Fox News because I’m furious with the inefficacy of those who have built careers as the supposed arbiters of messaging effectiveness in defense of the values and positions I hold. In other words: The people who make a living defending me and others in the conservative grassroots, are total jokes. And I’d rather watch my sworn enemies, like those who dominate the time on CNN and MSNBC, than endure the intellectual laziness, inbreeding and apathy of those who built careers in and around DC based on their alleged proficiency in defending the right. I count Kristen Soltis Anderson among those lazy and apathetic inbred swamp dependents, and sick of seeing her giddy eagerness to mock me and President Trump when in the company of Democrat propagandists like Jake Tapper and Brooke Baldwin, I decided today to pull out the small guns.

Stop reinventing your smile, Kristen. Or at least put your tools to use and poll it first. If you do, you’ll find out that your entirely manufactured smile — the one that makes you look like a rat that’s trying to gnaw through its bottom lip — is far less attractive than the one you were born with. But manufacturing a fake image is nothing new for you. You’d much rather have the approval of the anti-Trump (and anti-GOP) press corps, than to bring any semblance of honesty or fairness to the table. So as you were, gnawing through your bottom lip, while inspiring the rest of us to gnaw through the facade that you and your ilk are anything more than useless grifters who thanks to Trump have been demoted and are in the process of being drained from the swamp we’ve unwittingly funded for decades.


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One comment

  1. To quote you here: “The other sister, who was a few years older and in that way the ring leader, went on to become a vegan, socialist, atheist member of the pussy-hat resistance.”

    Nothing’s wrong with being vegan, there are plenty of us vegan conservatives and Trump supporters…no need to alienate us. 😕


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