At My Best, On My Worst

If you’ve been around this blog at all, you’ve likely noticed at least a few posts that might best be described as “flailing.” (And if you’ve ever followed me on Twitter, then you’ve definitely seen that.) Of course I maintain there is critical substance in each of the posts here, including those written amid great frustration…but it’s certainly much harder to decipher. As mad as many of us are in the conservative grassroots, reading 2,000 angrily-charged words can be difficult if not outright debilitating.

And so I set out in this post to do two things…

1). Explain myself a bit, and

2). Apologize to those I’ve lashed out at.

AN EXPLANATION

Foremost, I take “this stuff” very seriously. For me it’s not about clicks, cliques or cash. I landed on the merits of liberty, and leftism being its enemy, just as I did my faith: Entirely organically. I’ll tune in to Rush or Fox News on occasion, but my ideas (arguments, views, assertions, messaging, etc) are not the product or re-packaging of someone else’s. I both land upon and then offer my ideas entirely on my own based with near-exclusivity on the a) merits of liberty as expressed through conservatism and b) attempts to stifle both as leveled by our opposition in 2015. And fully 99% of the time I come to find out that virtually no one else on “our side” of the conversation has yet asserted — or are even close to asserting — anything even near those ideas.

This means most of the time that I do hear Mark Levin or Sean Hannity, or when I do read Ben Shapiro, or Erick Erickson, or Stephen Hayes or Katie Pavlich or Rich Lowry or  T. Becket Adams or or Jim Geraghty or for the love of all that’s holy Kat Timpf or Jonah Goldberg or so many others– rather than standing up and cheering like most of my peers in the grassroots…I lament what I know and believe in both my heart and my head to be the absence of far more important points than those they’re making which are not only missed but missed badly.

I’ve sensed and seen this now for almost a decade, and after pleading respectfully for nearly as many years for their consideration of new ideas and thinking that are still consistent with the values we typically share — I’ve tended to get upset amid their near-uniform silence and abject rejection of anyone they don’t already know if not directly than through other “insiders” from their world. Then I turn around and see them all patting each other on the back for doing such “great” work, and this of course just grates on me exponentially more.

Imagine if someone asked “What’s 1+1?”, but no one could hear you shout “2!” because they were all too busy congratulating each other for saying “Banana.” Welcome to my hell.

“So what are your great ideas?“, I’m sure they and anyone else reading might ask. Well, exactly 17 days since starting this blog I’ve poured much of my heart, soul and mind in to over 40 posts. And unfortunately, a bit new to the writing-for-amplification world, my points are scattered throughout each without nearly the organization with which I aspire to communicate them. But if you were to take the time in one sitting to thoughtfully read through all of my posts to-date, and you were able to extend the courtesy of knowing I’m driven far more by passion for liberty than anything else — you may find a renaissance of perspective that you did not have before that day started.

Ultimately, I’ve got the compelling and entirely uncharted ideas — but admittedly still need to work on crafting them in a way that allows for more clear communication of those ideas. And thus I’ve started this blog, in part for that very reason. I’ve also long thought about doing videos instead of just writing, and that may very well be around the corner for me…but operating under the burden of anonymity (as opposed to the alleged freedom of it), that will be a pretty major leap and one I can’t take hastily.

Why remain anonymous? Because I support my family as a sales professional in the often left-leaning technology space, and can’t afford to be a Google search away from losing that livelihood. Yes,”conservative American patriotism” is sadly for many of us America’s last remaining “closet” — and that too is something I hope to change, if only we could start asserting messaging that actually has us winning the national conversation instead of just winning an election occasionally along with a paper-thin mandate that ultimately nets us nothing legislatively let alone socially or culturally.

We’ll see, but this above is what I’m able to offer right now with respect to the seriousness with which I take the advancement of liberty far and wide — and what leads to so much frustration in tandem with that seriousness.

AN APOLOGY

To so many of you amplified voices in the conservative movement who I’ve so often railed against, I am sincerely sorry. Many of you in my view (namely among the inbred world of “strategists and advisers” more so than media) are outright detriments to our cause and very much “in it” more to do well than to do good — but many, many more of you are sincere in your efforts and doing the best you can, with what you have, amid the landscape as it exists today. I understand that, and I appreciate it, and I lament my failing to be mindful of those realities as I so often have. I can’t promise that passion for what I believe to be better ideas on advancing liberty won’t trump the better judgment of asserting empathy as it relates to your own efforts in the future — but noting as much here and now might serve to at least mitigate some future instances.

So thank you for your efforts. Thank you for inspiring so many other conservatives to know they’re not alone and there are people out there working on their behalf to combat the left. Thank you for your hard work, for your perseverance in the face of adversity, and most importantly for trying the best you can with the tools you have.

And apologies again if you were expecting an entirely groveling concession of regret. I can’t offer that because I do believe there are landscape-shifting positions and ideas that escape you entirely which would a) sustain a united right and b) attract disaffected and/or highly recruitable Democrat voters, while c) disarming the biased media and d) putting the establishment Democrat party so far on defense that they’re forced to repackage their entire platform. And I’m going to keep honing my efforts to craft and communicate those existing and endlessly-emerging ideas. But if you refuse to hear me out because I’m just a lowly grassroots guy with no pedigree or insider connections relative your amplified world, then I apologize in advance if I end up yelling a bit — be it at you or to you — absent my own amplification.

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